Love means respect. That is all there is to it. To be in love is a matter for the self and not the other. When Jesus speaks of love this is what he means. In this view arranged marriage is a good idea. Where “love” marriage is supposedly better is that it enables both partners to be willing participants – however in Love we do not respect the other person on conditional grounds and upon our own wishes but rather upon who they are. This is the fallacy of “love”- marriage it is actually selfish-marriage and so is doomed to fail. Where an arranged marriage may fail is that on seeing their betrothed a partner is unsatisfied and may think I can do better than that, or why am I so unfortunate. From the outset there is resentment and loss of respect and love. But if a partner was allowed to marry that person where they think I have done well, they are a good partner then rather than it being “love” it is personal satisfaction and selfishness. So ironically the love referred to in “love” marriage is actually its opposite, and what both arranged and love marriages need is respect or alternatively “love”.
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