On Peace and the Path

Reading last week I found passages that spelled out a very important point. To achieve the higher states of mind one must have a foundation of peace and security. I have been extremely stressed for a decade because of the issue of “my muse” and the hopeless struggle to make a sunken ship float. All the while I have known that my mind and body were not really suitable for spiritual cultivation: there has been extreme anger, fear, anxiety, grief, hatred, sadness, despair, indeed many very negative states of mind. My answer was to soldier on seeking that imagined place of indifference and freedom from such dualisms. It didn’t work and I got no where.

I can say now that actually I was in no place to really cultivate. My understanding was intact and I could explore and understand the path: good homework well done. But for actual attainment it was impossible. Only now that relative peace has returning to my system (far from perfect) but peaceful enough that I can string together some energy and concentration do I feel that I can begin that path again that was so easy as a pure child.

I am struggling because the first destination is back to the energy levels I had with “my muse” and naturally my attention is drawn back to blissful relationships. I am questioning whether this is a destination I have to visit in order to settle matters and enable me to put this behind me and silence the urges and passions. On the other hand a moments thought suggests that this would be highly foolish since that is exactly what got me in this messed up situation in the first place. Best to stay off the drugs! Easier said than done… on going investigation.

But, for now and here an important understanding which is that progress does really depend upon what perhaps seems an unenlightened requirement of peace and tranquillity to practice. I was under the misunderstanding that strength of mind would be arrived at through struggling against distractions and demons of the soul – when in actual fact peace is required before you do battle! If you cannot find the required peace in your soul to get the purity and lack of distraction required to progress then there is only the choice of shutting down the mind, turning it to wood, and waiting until the karma passes and we can return to peace. In this sense it is often a good idea to rest at a road side motel, but only long enough to get ones peace of mind back again.