Suffering and the "Me"

The typical way we approach bad things is by first owning them or rejecting them, and then either suffering to get rid of them, or turning on empathy to join someone else in their suffering and helping them get rid of them.

But its all very slightly mistaken. The correct approach is not to own/disown bad things. They are neither mine nor yours. And instead when we see someone struggling with bad things whether they are ourselves or someone else we engage with compassion.

Now personally I am a male of a certain age and emotions are not for men. They are sissy and the realm of women. Into this basket of stiff upper lip went compassion and care. The male realm is one for reason, debate and logic. Well emotions are still mostly pointless. But compassion is not an emption. Its the feeling side of wisdom. An enlightened being releases the compassion they have within, which is nothing but the innate response to bad things. Bad things by absolute logical definition are unwanted. It is knowing that a being is trying to get rid of bad things which elicits compassion. Now this can put us under stress. That test for replicants in Blade Runner of watching a tortoise on its back struggling to right itself. Our innate response, before even thinking, is to simply to help it right itself. Its innate and come from our very being, far beneath the layers of thinking, self and even emptions. We may have thoughts arise that stop this. Like its only an animal why should I care. Or if we have some anger to vent we think stupid thing, it got itself in this mess, let it get it out. Or if we are really angry we may even want it dead. Or perhaps we have lighter emotions and feel sorry for it, have sympathy for it, or perhaps even start crying. All these are actually useless. The only thing of real importance is the primal move to help it. That is buried deep in there for some people and needs to be encouraged out, but it is there. Perhaps sympathy and pity for the creature have a place but its not as important as the Buddha Nature of compassion. Now if we are unable to help the creature for some reason, and it is just helpless lying there we will probably start to feel extraordinary stress. I think that's what the Blade Runners were looking for. we want to help, but we cant and this causes stress. The all sorts of emotions start up like anger, sadness, depression, hopelessness, despair, crying, high blood pressure. And over time we will start to hurt ourselves. So not only is the tortoise is trouble but we get into to trouble.

Very first conversation with a Buddhist monastic was about this. She recalled meeting a Christian missionary on the way to India. When they arrived they were horrified at the levels of poverty and vowed to help. The Christian unfortunately did not think of herself and eventually work herself into a nervous breakdown. Now there was 1 other person in need of help. Compassion must include the self. But because of this weakness of splitting suffering into me and you we often either ignore our self, or we ignore you.

So if we cannot help the tortoise the wise mind does not break down. It understands the suffering, it is full of compassion, but that does not demand for what is impossible. Wise helping is always a practical matter. Emotions often get in the way of this. And especially when they are "our" emotions. How many people don't give up on the tortoise not so much for the tortoise as for having to personally carry their failure to help afterwards. This me/you thing really messes things up.

So the proper approach to bad things is not to own them. That sense that things are happening to "us", is really just the fact that they are present and really occurring. Now it is true that a body is needed for there to be sights, and it is correct that things are happening to a body. But we can watch all this without ever thinking there is a "me." Its all just happening as its happening. No one to own any of it.

Now there is one potential problem. A thinking mind may say if bad things don't belong to me then what is wrong with doing bad things? That is still "me" though. Why would you steal a car? It is only so that you can have the car. And that stems from thinking there is a "you" to have the car. Now its true there is no "you" to have the car either so there is no such thing as stealing in reality. Firstly most people won't see it like that. And secondly if there is no me/you then why would you ever need to "take" (as in possess something for yourself) anyway. In fact all "bad" things we do come from this me/you distinction. Once it is gone we no longer cause harm, or at least only through complete accident, because we behave to others as we behave to our self. How interesting that Jesus most famously should say this! And even in western philosophy Kant's Categorical Imperative argues that if there was a universal law of behaviour it would need to apply to everyone equally else it would not be universal. His view does get into problems as people start to think of times when stealing is the right thing to do. In the Buddhist and Jesus version they are based upon the individual while at the same time removing the barriers of me/you. Just do what is right and ignore whether it is for me or you is so simple really. And original compassion as it issues spontaneously from us below the level of thinking and self is like this. We help without regard for who we are helping.