Loss is an odd thing

You cannot lose what you never had.

This means that the root of loss lies in, and is set up, with having.

This is why "time heals." While the brain is good at remembering, we can never quite return to the state before we had, having had changes things and we cannot escape that. But time makes the "having" more distant, and gets us closer to where we were before we had what is now lost.

That said another way to escape the state of having had, is to put it down. We may indeed have had a prized toy as a kid, but we grew out of it, and while having had it, we do not hold it any more, and so we have returned to the state before having had it--even after having had it.

So "loss" is not quite like how we see it. We think the "loss" comes from no longer having something material. But we forget there are an infinite number of material things in this world, and to lose something involved more than them just existing. We need to have them, to grasp them, or become entwined with them, and only then can we lose them. So the loss is actually to do with us, not the thing we lose. It is down to our attitude and relationship with it. We actually create the loss, or are at least the critical component of it! We can even say that the loss is more to do with ourselves than what is actually lost!

Now this is odd, because at face value loss lies in something become lost. When actually that something is not the key at all, it is just an inert catalyst for something in ourselves. Loss is really made out of us, and we don't actually lose that!

That is obvious really. It is a repeat of the opening line: you cannot lose what you never had. For an object that is misplaced it doesn't know you lost it, it is just wherever it is. It is up to you to do the work to identify it, know it and realise it has gone. It is all work you must do. The loss is made by you,

And if that is true for an inanimate object it is true for a person or sentient being as well. Of course say with a dog it is a bit more complex because the animal reciprocates this knowledge, so there is a sense in which the dog reflects your loss and makes it more real. But while a dog may miss you, it is very likely that it does not know that you miss it. I mean it is possible, but we start to get into mental loops here. The fundamental point is that the key feature of loss is that it is in the eye of the beholder. They are the measure of loss, not the thing lost.