Boredom.

I was bored today. Same old job, nothing happening in my life much, I've avoided all my friends of late. But this is exactly where I wanted to be.

When my life is simplified I get bored at first and then my desires get stranded like drift wood on a beach at low tide. It is easy to see what is motivating me, and I can also silence it.

The goal in life has always been to want as little as possible. Then I can get satisfied more completely and more easily.

Ideally if I wanted nothing, I would be completely satisfied automatically.

This has been my life's goal, and I was given a good start because I was a very undemanding baby apparently - lazy mum calls it ;-)

It does seem the opposite of most people however who are always seeking newer and better things. If they don't get them they get a very unpleasant boredom. Was just talking to a work collegue about it. He'd go mad if he didn't have something to do.

Intuitively this does seem the wrong way. Get a desire for something new and we need to go get it and that is just more work.

Its not to say we can't enjoy things. I'd still enjoy things. Its just its not the type of relief enjoyment when we get something we really wanted, mostly because the agony of not having it just ended. Bit boring you might say. Well its peaceful enjoyment.

It might be viewed as laziness. But not really. Its not about doing nothing, its not about doing lots of things. Its contentment that arises quite independent of "doing". For normal thinking the key to the door of contentment is "action". We must do something to get what we want, or to stop being bored, or to get over depression or whatever is afflicting us.

For the lazy person action seems like to much effort, can't be bothered, its a mountain i don't want to climb.

If however we are quite happy with action, we might even be doing something right now, but contentment arises aside from whether we are doing something or not then that's what I mean.

That's also how doing and not doing are really the same because they have no impact on the state of pure contentment and self-knowing that is possible if we can withdraw our mind back to itself.

I am fasting today also which can have a great impact on clarity and the place of desires.