22 The light of the body is the eye. Therefore if your eye is sound, your whole body shall be full of light.
23 But if your eye is evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
found it... this is the bit from the Bible which summarises Jesus' similar statements to Hinduism and Buddhism - that to know ourselves look at what we see, that what is outside is what is inside, that our self does not hide behind the appearances of the world like a computer or viewer, but rather IS "the quality" of what we are seeing and experiencing and thinking - the goodness or badness of our existence.
This is remarkable to me that in its core Jesus, Buddha and the Hindu sages are on this point at least speaking exactly the same language.
Does this concordance between such traditions suggest that there is a common core to human life? that there is a single path of goodness for those who will know it.
Ever since orientating myself to these points on Thursday last week things have gone bad. I argued with my mother all weekend like I used to when I was a kid, and today am in the endgame with my girlfriend of 2 years - altho that was a forgone conclusion 2 years ago!
Sometimes it looks like the closer you get the harder it gets. So maybe this is the core to progress in life and the facing that core is why the going has gotten tough.
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In our scriptures (Samyuktagama Sutra, Vol 33), it is said that there are four kinds of horses: excellent ones, good ones, poor ones, and bad ones. The best horse will run slow and fast, right and left, at the driver's will, before it sees the shadow of the whip; the second best will run as well as the first one does, just before the whip reaches its skin; the third one wil run wgen it feels the pain on its body; the fourth will run after the pain penetrates to the marrow of its bones. You can imagine how difficult it is for the fourth one to learn how to run!
When we hear this story, almost all of us want to be the best horse. If it is impossible to be the best one, we want to be the second best. This is, I think, the usual understanding of this story, and of Zen. You may think that when you sit in zazen, you will find out whether you are one of the best horses, or one of the worst ones. Here, however, there is a misunderstnading of Zen. If you think the aim of Zen practice is to train you to become one of the best horses, you will have a big problem. This is not the right understanding. If you practice Zen in the right way it does not matter whether you are the best horse or the worst one. When you consider the mercy of Buddha, how do you think Buddha will feel about the four kinds of horses? He will have more sympathy for the worst obne than for the best one.
When you are determined to practice zazen with the great mind of Buddha, you will find the worst horse is the most valuable one. In your very imperfections you will find the basis for your firm, way-seeking mind. Thise who can sit perfectlyphysically usually take more time to obtain the true way of Zen, the actual feeling of Zen, the marrow of Zen. But those who find great difficulties in practicing Zen will find more meaning in it. So I think that sometimes the best horse may be the worst horse, and the worst horse can be the best one.
When we reflect on what we are doing in our everyday life, we are always ashamed of ourselves. One of my students wrote to me saying, "You sent me a calendar, and I am trying to follow the good mottoes which appear on each page. But the year has hardly begun, and already I have failed!" Dogen-zenji said, "shoshaku jushaku." Shaku generally means "mistake" or "wrong." Shoshaku jushaku means "to succeed wrong with wrong," or one continuous mistake. According to Dogen, one continuous mistake can also be Zen. A Zen master's life could be said to be so many years of shoshaku jushaku. This means so many years of one single-minded effort.
We say, " A good father is not a good father." Do you understand? One who thinks he is a good father is not a good father; one who thinks he is a good husband is not a good husband. One who thinks he is one of the worst husbands may be a good one if he is always trying to be a good husband with a single-hearted effort. If you find it impossible to sit because of some pain or some physical difficulty, then you should sit anyway using a thick cushoin or a chair. Even though you are the worst horse, you will get to the marrow of Zen.
Suppose your children are suffering from a hopeless disease. You do not know what to do; you cannot lie in bed. Normally the most comfortable place for you would be a warm comfortable bed, but now because of your mental agony you cannot rest. You may walk up and down, in and out, but this does not help. Actually the best way to relieve your suffering is to sit in zazen, even in such a confused state of mind and bad posture. If you have no experience of sitting in this kind of difficult situation you are not a Zen student. No other activity will appease your suffering. In other restless positions you have no power to accept your difficulties, but in the zazen posture which you have acquired by long hard practice, your mind and body have great power to accept things as they are, whether they are agreeable or disagreeable.
When you feel disagreeable it is better for you to sit. There s no other way to accept your problem and to work on it. Whether you are the best horse or the worst, or whetehr your posture is good or bad is out of the question. Everyone can practice zazen and in this way work on his problems and accept them.
When you are sitting in the middle of your own problem, which is more real to you: your problem or you yourself? The awareness that you are here right now is the ultimate fact. This is the point you will realise by zazen practice. In continuous practice, under a succession of agreeable and disagreeable situations, you will realise the marrow of Zen and acquire its true strength.
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