"My muse" had the Mozart gift of being able to write poems straight out in one draft. For me the process of writing comes in a sketch which becomes crafted through many versions toward a satisfactory form. It is as though my mind is not big enough, or my memory at least, to hold a complete work and it must be done in stages. This is true for music as well as poems.
First draft while sitting in a park. After a complete blank of inspiration a rough idea of what I wanted to say came and I needed to get a sketch down to see what it looked like.
In Early June I took my place upon a chequer floor [first lines are always right for me]
Away from the percussion of a busy street
In a city that sung to a worldly (rewritten: cosmopolitan) beat
Resting gently upon the swell of conversation
Illuminatin a room cut thrugh by panels of light
I'll be back in a moment the waiter said
and, she gave me her world and Eternity.
(notes: and she to me)
(notes: illuminated in the time of an arbitrary sun)
(notes: 2 worlds collide)
Looking at the sketch I could see where it was wrong and it gave new ideas. Second draft immediately after:
In Early June I took my place upon a chequer floor
Black & white 2 worlds collide
In what i saw before.
In a cafe away from a busy street
In a city that sung in a cosmopolitan beat
In a room illuminated by panels of light
Resting gently on a swell of conversation
Illuminatin a room cut thrugh by panels of light
I'll be back in a moment the waiter said
and she gave me a world and Eternity. [was worried she might take it too personally if I said her world]
(notes: sun symbolic of world/eternity ?moon)
That was the end of lunch break. The next evening I found the poem sketch on my desk and read it. With a clear fresh mind that was when the magic happened and the final 3 metred lines came together. Then I knew I almost had it.
In Early June I took my place upon a chequer floor
Black and white, 2 worlds collide in what I saw before
In a cafe away from a busy street
In a city that sings a cosmopolitan beat
In a room iluminatd by panels of light
(note: sundial/flooof time/time flowing in shadows on the sundial board)
from a ticking star that shines so bright
Resting gently on a swell of conversation
I'll be back in a minute the waiter said
And she
Daughter of the moon to me
Gave her world and eternity
Still dissatisfied that it was a mess had a final go.
In Early June I took my place upon a chequer floor
Black and white
2 worlds collide
In what I beheld before
In a cafe away from a busy street
In a city that sings to a cosmopolitan beat
In a room iluminatd in panels of light
Time flowing on shadows of/in sundial flight
Pausing/Resting gently on a swell of conversation (crossed out)
Resting gently in/on conversations (lively/pleasant/gentle/warmin/eager) eager swell
'I'll be back in a minute' the waiter said
And she
Daughter of the moon to me
Gave her world and eternity.
Final decisions were made at leasure and it was polished before sending, thus
In Early June I took my place upon a chequer floor
Black and white
Two worlds collide
In what I beheld before
In a cafe beside a busy street
In a city that sings to a cosmopolitan beat
In a room illumined in panels of light
Time flowing on shadows in sundial flight
Resting gently on conversations eager swell
'I'll be back in a moment' so the waiter said
And she
Daughter of the moon to me
Gave her world and eternity.
Unfortunately nothing good ever came simply for me. The best piece of music I ever wrote must have been through over 10 versions before I was happy. Even tho the central idea I had from the first draft! So the lesson is it doesn't have to be perfect before writing and if you don't write you don't start to process to perfection!!!
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2 comments:
Right, I've got it. It's a political solution to global warming. We need to start a party.
You may not like this as it is a bit extreme, however a desparate situation calls for desparate measures.
It is now clear that the momentum of global development cannot be stopped in time to prevent ecological disaster. It has been clear for some time, but with the current acceleration of consumption and other factors conspiring to hasten the effects of the use of fossil fuels - cheifly, gasses not being absorbed by the oceans, methane released from melting tundra, reduction of albeido from melting ice caps - immediate measures must be taken to erradicate the use of fossil fuels, in order only to slow the damage.
This is a matter of utmost urgence. We need to declare war. War on the suicidal, neigh genocidal waste that is global capitalism. War on all that threatens our environment and our very existence. If we were to stop now, perhaps we may have a chance. We can acheive this if we try, we must introduce wartime measures such as rationing, close our airports, outlaw private tansport and the many other things which needlessly invite our demise.
Of course, if we act unilaterally as a nation, this will not help the situation one iota. We must bring everyone into this with us if we are to have any hope of avoiding catastrophe.
There does not seem to be any means of obtaining the cooperation of those whose assistance we need by negotiation.
Therefore, we must democratically elect an executive which is prepared to take the necessary steps to force the world's hand before it is too late. There seems to be only one way to bring this about.
We are a nuclear power. We have the capacity to threaten other nations with near destruction, and we must do so. If this is the only way to promote the understanding that we already are threatened with similarly imminent destruction.
Here is the beginning of the manifesto:-
(i) This nation undertakes to arrest the damage being caused by the economic disaster which is global capitalism. We will begin by restricing the use of fossil fuels to that which is necessary to maintain agriculture and vital services at the minimum possible level.
(ii) In order that our measures are to be effective we will demand that every other nation do the same. To ensure compliance with our actions we will target the capital city of each developed and developing nation, including our own, with a nuclear device....
But another power might just use nuclear weapons to enforce capitalism... oh they already have ;-)
Force is not the way. Violence and threats only breed struggle and conflict.
We must accept that the world as we know it is always under change and what we had was going anyway. We will all die one day so there is no real unnatural loss in global destruction.
It is the desire for things which drives global destruction, so the desire to stop global destruction is just part of the problem.
The only solution as I see it is like the Dalai Lama's approach to Tibet. Do only good things and wait for your karma and the global karma to change. With enough wisdom we won't get a rebirth in this world which was born of fire and will return to fire one day anyway.
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