The way of peace?

This weekend past I had a wonderful juxtaposition of a trip to a monastery to watch an ordination ceremony and the following day lunch with a very nice girl. I never made the trip to the monastery and the lunch didn't go very well. But its got me back on one of my favourite subjects : arretez versus allez.

I suspect that what a girl is looking for requires some effort on the behalf of the male. You simply can't get a girl as you naturally are. You need some type of "gift" be that a job, car, money etc. Given that the self is "empty" this is not a very great goal for a woman.

Now this presents me with a challenge because I am committed to being myself. I refuse out of principle to "become" someone. It always seems to me that women, bosses, parents etc are trying to mould us into something that we are not. Yes we are actors, yes we can act but it is not true and it is a jacket that we take off at the end of the working day. But I don't want to pretend I'm only interested in being.

So I'm beginning to see that actually it will be impossible for me to get a girl or a job or anything because I refuse to play the game. I'm only interested in just being.

So my thought now and why I turned to writing this blog was the realisation that the very sense that it is impossible makes me want to do it. I want to prove that I can get the girl simply to find out what it is about. I've had the girl before by accident - but never won her. So what I realise now is that things become valuable simply because we can't get them. The mythology says that we have something to learn. A closed door must be overcome and defeated and through this we will be better people. But is this really true? Do we need to overcome every closed door? We know that in realist there is nothing behind the door. Many people have no difficulty getting the girl and it makes little difference to their life - so why should it make a difference to mine? It is simply the fact that it is a hindrance and a challenge to me. Is that it!

Is it actually a wise thing to do to turn away from a closed door and find another way that is not closed? The American model of beating our opponents and overcoming our hindrances simply ego and empty pointless conquest.

Is this the wisdom... to simply just walk away from that which we fail at and leave it undone.

I can think of a thousand positive thinking gurus disagreeing with me saying that I should grow and prove myself - but maybe they are all wrong.

The way of peace is just to walk away... for that is all we will do after the door is bust open! So after a brief foray into allez (I can't remember when this started) I'm going back to arretez to calm the flames and search for peace once again.