The Dialectic of Violence

Well non violence works! The on going dispute at work about whether a database I implemented years ago to track stock and order - and which is universally used and makes everyone's life much easier, but which has annoyed the control freakish boss - has been solved. I sat through another meeting where he complained about all its bad sides and how we needed to implement extra layers in order to get back to what he wanted (all of which defeat the purpose of an online, easily accessible, soft copy, searchable, labour saving, traceable, distributed system). Today I just took it, didn't defend the system and didn't argue. At points I casually put over the alternative perspective that the systems "problems" were really benefits in a different paradigm perspective. Suddenly at the end of the meeting without warning his paradigm changed and he seems to like the proposal! Only 2 years late but that is maybe the power of non-violence I suggest.

Also wanted to add the ironic nature of violence from some previous experiences.

A few years ago I went into a kebab shop with a mate. A huge bloke was giving his son the usual nationalistic lecture on how the immigrants are taking jobs from the whites, jobs and freedom which our fathers died in the war to secure for us. It was in full view of the Turkish staff and I was a bit insensed. I just stared at the bloke. It was not necessarily a wise thing to do, and my friend advised me to stay out of it cos trouble with this bloke would not be fun. Sure enough the works came "what you looking at" luckily I said "I'm not looking just listening" so he was "oh alright then" and started back on his lecture... but it faultered cos he knew he had ears now. So he asks angrily "so what you think 'bout it anyway". Again luckily I spoke from the heart "I think its shit, shit for everyone involved". He completely changed at that point, like a child. "Too bloody damn right mate" he said emotionally and then pulled up his shirt to show the huge scar of a bullet he'd got in Northern Ireland. His anger at foreigners was his own fear at having been almost killed and how he felt cheated and confused trying to understand for what he had almost died. The Turks were silently happy and put free drinks in the take away, but the real suffering was in that bloke who I hope has some resolution to the horror of whatever happened on that day. We shook hands which made sense to me as he was the victim, although my friend who was outside by then saw the Turks as the victim. Its very ironic.

Similar situation - bit more surreal. Was on a train and this bloke rushes into the carriage and says "you saw a bloke running through the train". I said "sorry but no". He said "don't lie to me, I'm undercover and I'm chasing a spy, where did he go". "I said, sorry to disagree with you but I didn't see anybody". Its gets aggressive. "You know I can throw you off the train". "I said yes, but I don't know what it will achieve". He's a bit exasperated now and sits down. "You that will kill you". Again I say, "Yes you can kill me, but I don't understand what it will achieve". "There is a knife in this bag and I'm gonna stab you", I said the same thing, trying to get him to find a solution to this which would benefit him - I couldn't see how my death was of any benefit to him. Eventually he gave up and started to talk about the real problems. It had something to do with, on the one hand fear his girlfriend might get raped, but on the other hand loathing of her love for him. It was obvious that he was rejecting her love and really that is what he needed, but I couldn't see why (was a new situation then). This went on and on, cycling (like a recurring dream) around these opposing issues of losing her to rape but not wanting to love her. I had to get off the train, and then realised - too late unfortunately - what was going on. The fear of losing her to rape was really his own desire to rape projected onto another person, and that desire to rape was a rejection of love and intimacy which he was rejecting because he could not open himself up to love, and that because he was protecting himself from hurt. In reverse: he was protect himself from hurt, but it was a barrier, and his girlfriend trying to love him was threatening that barrier, so he rejected that love and feelings of intimacy by having a desire to rape, but he couldn't accept that so he projected it onto a fear of "other" people taking her from him. So again all that agression stemed from his own hurt, and that is what he needed to face and heal. It takes real courage to face to world and take a chance with hurt - we don't all have that, I fear I too am weak in that area as I avoid relationships because of the pain and complications they can cause.

A third case was the training ground in this understanding of violence. A gay friend was telling me about his lover who was a schitzophrenic with sexual fantasies of killing people. On the one hand he glorified this extreme sexual taste as a bold and radical break from mainstream tastes. On the other hand (quite separately) he was dismayed at his lovers suicidal tendancies and lack of will to live. It was obvious - killing is killing whether it happens to oneself or another person - the suicidal tendancy was the same as the destructive sexual fantasy - they were both negative and counter to life - obviously neither were good as the radical wanted to believe. So respecting other peoples life was the key to recovering respect for his own life, those sexual fantasies had to be seen for the cynical and destructive things they were, the poison that was robbing him of his own life.

Such thinking is what lead me to the karmic way of thinking in Buddhism. The perpetrator of any crime is always suffering. Suffering and wrong doing go hand in hand. It is just what every religion says that sin is always punished. To remove suffering we must remove sin. And if we are suffering it is counter productive to turn to crime to alleviate that sin. Forget the law and the police - they do not do the punishment, and they do not administer justice. These things are automatically handed out whenever we sin. Maybe we can't see it, the addict unwilling to face the damage and pity of his situation - but the suffering is there. This is the most important law in the world - more important than anything in the material world, the law more influential and relevant for human life than any physical law.

We may see people doing wrong (maybe stealing) who seem to experience no suffering. But consider the saying "he who lives by the sword dies by the sword". If we steal we are suffering in 2 ways. First we are showing no respect to property and so we are undermining the security of our own property. The mind is very just - if you believe you can steal from people, you also believe that people can steal from you - so your life becomes very insecure and "your" property ceases to be "yours". You are also greedy unwilling to wait for things you want. As we get more greedy the things we have become less and less able to satisfy our needs and we need more and more. We have to steal more and more just to have the level of satisfaction we had before. So our life spirals into dissatisfaction in 2 ways - firstly never being satisfied by what we have stolen, and secondly never feeling we own anything we have stolen because we have abandoned the belief in rightful ownership. Stealing then is a very fast track to unhappiness. As are all sins.

So we don't need the state law really, nor the police, nor the judges, nor any protection of our goods, nor any manufactured justice because when we see how the world works all this is only implementing what already exists. We are so blind to this natural Law however that if we don't turn to crime, we turn to the law to defend us which shows up our ignorance and just encourages the law breakers.

The world is all very ironic. What is violent is really the little boy crying in the corner. What is Lawfully Right is really the cynic who has lost understanding of the true law of suffering. What is Lawfully Wrong is just another cynic who has lost understanding of the true law, but who will suffer for their actions. All these people are actually in need of some help, and a good dose of irony to see how reality is quite different.