The illusion of love

Won't explain why i'm where i am .. but i'm back at the crossroads... the other path now opens up... only 10 mins to pen this down

the belief in romantic love is an illusion...

looking into our lovers eyes we are caught in the most beautiful illusion

she find her complete fulfillment in you, and you find your complete fulfillment in her. Normally we are in a state of seeking something in the outer world over which we have precarious control and we need to work to get it... and then when we get it it is ephemeral and we start all over again...

in my lovers eyes i see the end of desire... she is mine forever and in her is my every desire fulfilled and i know that she find her complete fulfillment in me... it means that between us there is no lose thread... a completely inwardly turning self sufficient embrace of desires... everything i need is in her... and everything she needs is in me... i need look no further into the uncertain world around because i have it all right here in this girl before me who is as certain a part of me as my own reflection... no more will i wander this world in need ... in the insecurity of not having power to master my needs... in her lies everything i ever wanted and in me she finds the same... self generating, self sufficient satisfaction.

That is the myth! that swells our hearts and makes us strive for that perfection in this life, which makes us run into the pit of flames that is sexual desire but it is a myth. i didn't see the whole way thru yesterday but i did see that chances are it can't be true. How can anything that is totally self sufficient exist... that is like a perpetual motion machine. Love is conditional that is the truth, and so it is not perfect.

Its also to do with ego. I am the only one of me, i am unique, what happens to me is unique and noone else can replace me. It follows when i look to another that i look for that unique other who is as special and unique as me - i look for THE ONE. Actually we look a bit closer there are lots of ONES and each person seems to find their one from the same pool of humans that everyone else finds their one... and we can change our ones also. It stems from this other illusion of the uniqueness of self, that when we die its more important than when another dies... and when our ONE dies that is as important as our own death... except its all an illusion.

there was one other point i forget... but gotta dash.. 2 b continued! so which path am i walking now? as usual they both open at the same time... still the ghost