False Self; the Crux

The crux of this issue is the false self. This is the self image that is not true.

As we gain awareness of ourself and we seek to look at ourselves we form an image of ourself.

Obviously we want to gaze upon something appealing and do not want to see something unwholesome so we are biased in our self image - filtering out the things we don't want to see and focusing on the good things. We like flattery, we dislike criticism because we want to have a nice image that is appealing.

So the biggest stress comes when we discover something, or do something, or something happens to us which challenges this self image. We are forced to look at unpleasant things about ourself.

But like a man who walks past the deformed cripple, if we walk past ourself we are doing ourself the worst injustice! We are abandoning our true self, we are refusing to accept ourself and we now how rejection feels by those who we love. So if we reject ourself how deep must this hurt!

So the false idol that we form that enables us to look upon ourself in pleasure (the Narcisism) invariably leads to us rejecting our true self and then we are deeply and incurably unloved! So we seek the love of another who can reinforce our self image, a sycophant one who will flatter.

But actually what we need to do is be humbled into accepting the true self and letting go the false idol. Face the negative and unappealing parts of ourself. Stop on the road and help the disgusting homeless, unloved cripple for only through that will we find love ourself.

There is much Christian metaphor in this. It does seem to be a central threat of the Christian message. Jesus died a pitiful death, unloved a criminal, totally humiliated and abandoned. Some say he was perfect, but isn't it essential in this reading to understand he was a Man with all the failing of a Man! If we can look to him, can't we also look to our own abused self accept it in its degraded and imperfect form and in so doing show ourselves love even when we have the greatest disgust in what we are and what we have done. That is the only foundation of healing and forgivenness that we acknowledge our true self and give it the support to grow.