The other worlds that are this world

Spoke the the sister of "my muse" over the bank holiday weekend and we spoke a lot about her. She really was special in a real way beyond the horizons of my own admiration. She had been born with her third, celestial, eye open and could see and communicate with spirits. Something she had mentioned but I had ignored cos 10 years ago this stuff was rubbish to me. She had been told that she was a very old soul n now I begin to believe it. I've tried to block this stuff out to find other explanations, to think its just my own flights of fancy, we always like to believe that the people we love are special but beyond my own love she was someone special and the story goes way outside my own little world. That boy in a dream I had in the first weeks of knowing her may have said something important that "she was special and I should not let her go".

She believed in many lives and how people would follow each other lifetime after lifetime. Either she communicated that across the floor of the WHSmiths when I first saw her, or it's coincidence, or I had that thought myself because I really was waiting to meet her again from past lives. I can't believe the coincidences, it really makes me think that this is reality, just so far removed from the world i was brought up in.

Her great bond in life was with her father. She believed they had been cycling around the realms of rebirth of hundreds of lifetimes. It seems it is possible that the car crash they were involved in which injured them both did really lead to their deaths in the years that followed, especially the father who had a head injury n who died of a brain tumour. What was my connection with her and what did I need to meet her in this life for? It wasn't sex she said that herself, maybe it was to open my eyes to other realities.

When you start to look at this stuff properly all sorts of things become apparent. Walking back from the station yesterday I saw this youth dressed in a T-shirt standing in the doorway of a building. I assumed he was there, but when I looked around to check there was nothing there. I've always assumed that is just me being tired, but maybe it means something else.

"My muse" has not passed on unfortunately. Often when we talk about her at work the room grows cold and I can feel a faint breeze upon my face. Uptil now I have been very selfish wishing she had not gone, still wanting to see her again. In a dream I met her and I kept asking whether we would meet again and the answer was just a blank, and the harder i pushed for an answer the more blank it was. Maybe it's a choice i can make and the future is not set. For her own good she should go and we will meet again when the time is right.

My lab partner who has been told he is one of the oldest souls has given some advice about Hindu ceremonies for this kind of thing. I hope so much she is happy.

What is evidently clear at the moment is that we humans are connected in so many indescribable and multidimensional ways and that the workings of the universe go far beyond the confines of our petty selfish minds. To understand the world needs us to take a very back stage in our own lives to see the enormity and diversity of the worlds that are this world.