Thursday, 22 March 2007

Celebacy, Energy, Sex n Mirror Trap

So its almost 2 days since I took the vow. No looking at women "like that". I have erections still but no responding to them, let them come (not cum ;-) and go. Its easy for me at the moment cos I am sick of the other way, its so pointless and I am terrified of getting trapped now into a sexual relationship n family responsibilities which seems so biological, basic and narrow minded.

Plus I want to escape this mirror trap of love, and I want to escape the waste of energy that sex is.

Now the energy is higher it can be used for sex tho v easily! In a local shop today I saw a girl who seemed "my type". Now I'm not doing this for real cos of the vow, but I played the game n wanted to give her the eye. Its the eye that i recon does the work, and if u got the energy that is where it all happens. By the time I had bought my stuff she was flirting beautifully, it is a very attractive sight indeed! Never as well as "my muse" used to, but i begin to realise now where all that energy between us came from.

So what happens I recon is that we generate energy especially through inner resolution. It is not through self control, or forcing oneself to do what we don't want. It is thinking it through and generating inner resolution to store energy. That is not going out into the world to get stuff, not using the energy.

Now what happens is that eneregy starts to manifest in the world. Firstly through sexual interest in girls. That is the first hurdle. At the peak u get the celestial interests that I found with "my muse". Then its onto a whole new celestial level. U get the manifestations of spirits, psychic powers and ultimately Gods. If we understand that these are manifestations of our energy it is ok. However if we think the Gods have somehow come to visit us, we are stuck in the mirror trap! but on a very high level!!!

U see if the woman is your special sexual/spiritual mirror image, then who is hers? The reflection can't have you as its reflection cos where does all this start? Reflections are never real, there is only one origin and it is at the start. If we confuse the manifestations outside us with things separate from us, and worse we use those separate things to in some way mirror us - give us self security or the like - then we are founding our self upon a reflection in a pool and suddenly we lose the origin and we lose everything.

This is how energy leads people into temptation and ignorance. The wisdom is the realisation that the origin has no form, it is us! and the manifestations that occur around us, from lovers, to Gods are just mirror images of us and we do not see them as anything but reflections.

This is not new. But I have never seen before the connection between low-energy human relations and high level spiritual relations - like with Gods. This is the stuff that has gotten me confused for ages.

So that the key to much of life then. Centre energies and dun waste them chasing every single manifestation that comes your way.

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