Integrity is foundation for peace and happiness

Well my celebacy seems to be working now :-)

Having made the inner decision to completely abandon the search for women, which was the one thing in life I did think was worth it, I'm rediscovering peace.

This is how I used to feel as a young teenager when it was natural to reject my sexual desires and seek happiness instead. But as I got older I found this harder and harder, and also counter to societies (and women's) expectations.

Desires and Heroic deeds
Loves and Intense needs
Are NOT the way.

It is absolutely clear now.

As a friend of my sisters very profoundly said after seeking her dream job as a jet setting executive: sitting on concord flying to my next meeting I realised that it was still the same old me underneath. So she quit for a more relaxing life knowing that whatever she did it was still the same old unchangeable self underneath.

We seek all these things expecting the new cloak to somehow change us and fill the missing gap. That is the illusion of life. There is nothing to fill the gap. Infact the gap only exists because we keep finding things we think we want. Abandon the things we want and the gap is abandoned also!

Even if we had everything we ever wanted, the most intense experiences the most wonderful relationships, family and love we would still find the same gap inside - until we learned to let go.

Its hard to think this, but if we struggle in life I guarentee that you will struggle even if you had everything u wanted. The struggle is part of our own self's non acceptance of peace and itself.

Once we accept ourself then we receive the world

Struggle has got nothing to do with the outside world! Its a state of mind that is only solved inside. People often learn this thru struggle, because like in the army struggle will eventually beat u and then u will be forced to accept humility and peace.

Not very Nietzschian who would say that we should rise above all challenges and become the master. But once we are the Ubermensch - the super man - what then? what do we do with our supermaness? simply satisfy the vain whims of a autocrat? And has anyone ever become peaceful and found the end of craving through satisfying that craving? The word 'No' is more suitable to that question than to any other.

Integrity is the foundation of all this. The deep inner resolve to abandon the whims of fancy, to remain true to ones word. If one makes a promise simply keep it. there should be no struggle, just the inner resolution.

If one struggles then one has still not accepted the humility required to make such a vow, and so one will cook in the cauldron of suffering until that humility is separated out.